nature and the gospel

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.”- Martin Luther

i love love love this quote.
nature is my favorite way to experience God in my daily life.

striving for perfection is demoralizing

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

do you ever feel like you are trying to erase your faults, as though you are the only one that has them?
today I feel like my faults are outstanding, which is why i fall back on this quote, not because it discusses being accepted for your true self, but because it deals with the recognition of faults within yourself. i think that while the people i care about are so good at accepting me, good and bad together, i am not at a point in my life where i have learned to accept myself as i am, which is imperfect.

all of those things that Marilyn used to describe herself are things that i would use to describe myself. i am selfish. i am impatient. i am completely insecure. i make more mistakes than i can count. i lose control of myself mentally, spiritually, and, most of all, emotionally. i realize that i am hard to handle.
i guess what i need to realize is that so is everyone else.
while not everyone is all of those things, most people are at least one of them, and other people have faults that are different than those listed.

while i feel like i need to be better and overcome my faults, they are part of who i am at this moment in my life. everyone is flawed, and that is what makes life really interesting, because perfection is boring and overrated. while i can't say that starting at this moment i am going to be okay with everything that i am, i will say that i am working on coming to grips with the priceless value of imperfection.

(also: i am in complete agreement with the end of the quote as well. if people aren't willing to take you at face value on your worst day, then they really are not worthy of being graced with your presence on your best day. preach it Marilyn)

*brain explodes*

as an addition to my previous post, visit mystarbucksidea.com!

the site is AMAZING and overflowing with awesome ideas, ideas that the company IS REVIEWING and IMPLEMENTING. for example, the wireless internet at Starbucks is currently provided by T-Mobile, and you have to pay to use it. people want free internet to use when they are enjoying their lovely beverage, and they have said so. people have voted on it, AND SO THE COMPANY IS DOING IT. and not next year, but now, within the next couple months. to me, that is an amazing response to the customer that you can't find everywhere.

on the site you can see different ideas that are being presented, by category of topic, popularity, or other search categories. any topics that say "**UNDER REVIEW**" in the subject line are currently being considered by the company. any topics that say "**COMING SOON**" are ideas that are in the process of being implemented. and there are TONS of ideas that are being considered.

please excuse my enthusiasm. it is just really exciting for me to see a company i love bounce back so resiliently and really excite their customers. its freakin' awesome!

the end.

starbucks! to the max!

my dear friends,

today was a good day for my good friend, Starbucks.
today, Starbucks released their new Pike Place Roast coffee to all of their stores, returned to having the original logo on all of their cups, and, once again, began scooping and grinding beans in the store.
they are going back to their roots, focusing on their brewed coffee and making sure their coffee truly is the best available.

kathleen and i were able to go in today and take part in the experience. it is truly nostalgic to see how far they have come, from their first little store at the Market to where they are now, and it is good to see them getting back to the basics and really giving their customers (or me, at least) what they want, which is the best coffee.

i have been buying the Pike Place Special Reserve at the Pike Place Market location for a few years now, and assumed that this release was simply an expansion of that blend throughout all locations. after further analysis (and taste testing), the Pike Pike Roast is definitely not the same as the Special Reserve. It is a completely new blend that should please anyone with a love of the drink. the PPR is smoother, with a blend of more interesting flavors, while the Special Reserve is bolder. the Special Reserve is also a region-specific blend, using beans from the Latin American region, while the PPR is a multi-region blend. both are superb blends with excellent flavor, so i encourage anyone who is interested and has the accessibility to try both.

one of my favorite things about this new blend is that they are always going to have it brewing in the store and they are always going to have a fresh pot brewing every thirty minutes, meaning you never have to have a stale cup of coffee.

along with this release, starbucks is instituting new customer loyalty programs, new machines, and new conservation efforts. for more information on all the upcoming innovations, here are some resources you can check out:
Starbucks Website (of course)

Starbucks will 'fight to the death,' Schultz says: Seattle PI Article

Clover coffee machines catch Starbucks' fancy: Seattle PI Article

Starbucks plans to unveil new blend Tuesday: Seattle PI Article

also, if you are interested in the transformation of the Starbucks logo, take a look at this website, called Brand Autopsy
the site does a great overview of the life of the Starbucks logo from its beginning to the present day.

if you have the opportunity, go in and try the new blend, pick some up to take home, and check out the "new" cups. as they say (or as my cardboard sleeve says), "Roasting coffee since 1971. The best coffee then. The best coffee now." enjoy!

it takes all i am to believe in the mercy that covers me

this song has been one of my favorite songs for as long as i can remember, so i just wanted to share it.
it is basically a perfect depiction of my daily spiritual struggles, which i am so thankful for, despite the difficulty, because they are always bringing me back to Him.
also: happy easter. He is risen :)

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

worlds apart: jars of clay


----------------
Listening to: Jars of Clay - Worlds Apart
via FoxyTunes

if i had one wish

if i had only one wish in the world that i could use to my own personal benefit, i would want to be understood.
i like to be heard, and i love to be listened to, but it seems that what i really need is to be understood. i feel like i talk and talk and talk, and people listen to what i am saying, but i don't think they understand the me in what i am saying.
i want to be able to express a feeling, emotion, need, or want, and have the person i am talking to experience exactly what that it feels like to be me, what it feels like to have that emotion, or to desperately want or need something. i want to be able to share something with someone and not have to try to explain myself in words that could never do justice to the feelings i am experiencing. i want them to just know. i want them to feel it in their core, with the same intensity that i am feeling it in my being.
i guess what i am saying is that i don't want to be understood only in a mental sense, but instead i want to be understood vicariously.
part of me feels silly writing this because i know it will mostly fall on minds, minds who are "listening" and nodding in agreement with what they are reading because somewhere in their brains they have some knowledge of how i am feeling. but part of me hopes, sincerely hopes, that this will be understood by someone, someone who wants to be understood just as badly as i do, someone who is experiencing what they are reading. if that is you, thank you. this was for you.

----------------
Listening to: John Mayer - Covered in Rain
via FoxyTunes

rightfully so, rightfully so...

this is my bff, john mayer. in case you were unaware, he is completely amazing. also: look at this
also: notice that my other bff, john krasinski is also there. whoot for bffs.

important things for you to know about me

i am starting to realize that people don't really "get" me.
and even if they do, it is only partially.
so, "get" this:

>i am not one to be taken advantage of or walked on. when people dont take my interests, circumstance, or feelings in to account, i shut down and push away. i don't need it. i have put up with it enough in my lifetime thus far, and if i am a friend to you, i deserve better.

>i am not a standby friend. i wont wait for you to make time for me. i wont wait for you to finally realize that you have got yourself in a bad situation or have lost any other friends you might have had before you come running back. i wont be made a fool of.

>i dont get angry very easily. i am extremely passionate and i love to argue, raise my voice, and drive my point, but rarely does that mean that i am fighting or that i feel upset.

>when i get angry, i shut down. i rarely yell, i rarely argue. i hide out, shut everyone out, and cry.

>i am eternally dedicated to people i care about. i love my friends, i love my family. there is nothing i would not do for them if they needed me.

>on the other hand, i have found it necessary to take care of myself. if i am being emotionally trampled on by someone who i care about, i have to remove myself from them in order to care for my person.

>i am addicted to my responsibilities. i work, i go to school, i help to manage a household, and i am soon to be married. i have worked hard to get to where i am and i wont jeopardize those things by screwing around and living like it doesnt matter.

>i love to laugh and i love being a complete weirdo. i have odd obsessions, goofy tendencies, and an insatiable desire to have fun no matter what the circumstance.

>i like to tell things like they are. if you ask me for the truth, i wont sugarcoat it because i think it is deceitful and wrong.

>what i believe is the core of who i am. i do my best to live it, but i slip up just like everyone else does. if you are interested, ask. ill tell you because it is important to me.

i think that gives you enough to remember for today. more to come.

son of a...

from the greatest movie of all time...

oh so naughty

guilty pleasure:
keeping a secret collection of ABBA and Carpenters and listening to their albums when no one else is around. (definition taken from the urban dictionary)

or

something that you shouldn't like, but like anyway. (also from urban dictionary)

so, without further ado, these are the guilty pleasures, most of which i induldge quite frequently:

::cheese
::ice cream
::yogurt
::okay, so almost all dairy related products, exculding milk
::listening to nickleback
::starbucks
::hick chicks by cowboy troy
::the office
::shopping at the gap
::dundermifflininfinity.com
::angry chick music from the 90's
::driving too fast
::instant messaging
::ginger ale
::south park
::buying school supplies

that is all i can think of for the moment.
more to come.

my heart belongs in scranton

i love love love love love love the office.
my favorite character: pam beesley
i love pam because i relate to her very heavily.
she is extremely sensitive, she loves doing nice things for people without being asked, and she has pretty much no life outside of her work at the office.

the rest of my love list:

i love michael because he is tactless
i love jim because he is warm-hearted
i love stanley because he does crossword puzzles
i love meredith because she is a boozer
i love darryl because he is smooth
i love phyllis because she is edgy
i love angela because she is die-hard
i love kevin because he is goofy
i love dwight because he is insane
i love karen because she is simple
i love ryan because he is smart
i love kelly because she is loquacious
i love oscar because he is pretty
i love andy because he is neurotic
i love toby because he is quiet
i love jan because she is high maintenance
i love roy because he is kind
i love creed because he is disturbed

love x billion
:)

I am from...

I am from warm blankets, from Bisquick pancakes and never-ending laughter .

I am from the quiet suburbia, the slightly removed, the place where the train always makes it's presence known as it passes through in the middle of the night. From the fresh air and the cool river water.

I am from the limitless maple trees, and the faithful daffodils that push their head through the soil every spring.

I am from Dick's on Christmas Eve, great story telling, and unsurpassed love, from my mom and from my dad.

I am from the love of working hard and playing hard, and from a giving heart that is always willing to go above and beyond. From social butterflies and honest intentions.

From Fourth of July tales about the ghost of Harold Schwatzer and vital accounts about the God of Abraham and Jacob.

I am from going to church bright and early every Sunday morning . From putting my faith in the One who created me in His image, to do His good work, to live out His plan for my life.

I'm from the beautiful Pacific Northwest, raised by two locals. From close family ties, Chicken Couch and Dutch Babies.

From the hardest working man I will ever know, and the most faithful, caring mother. From the most dedicated, loving, respectable team to ever take on the task of raising three children.

I am from summers at Priest Lake and winters in the mountains, from spontaneous road trips in Eleanor and spur of the moment trips to Didiers.

I am from the place where everyone knows my name.

I am from an unfathomable love, saving grace, and unceasing mercy.

From darkness to light. From the love of a Father who will always catch me when I fall, who will always have His arms wide open, pierced hands ready to lift my burdens and hold me in the comfort of His peace.

(template for this can be found here)

annoyed, to put it lightly

i retract my previous statement about this blog being used for things that were serious and "very important" to me.

i would rather just write whatever is on my mind instead of limiting myself and forcing myself to stay within a certain set of guidelines.

with that said...

i am tired of the statement "well, at least it is snowing in the mountains"
i dont give a crap if it is snowing in the mountains. if i cant touch the snow, then it doesnt make a difference in my life. i want snow around me for Christmas, and that is important to me, so dont try to change my perspective by showing me how the situation benefits your snowboarding hobby.

also: dont tell me how busy you are when you dont work.
when you work, go to school, and have a house to take care of, then you can complain about how you are busy. otherwise, you just are poor at managing your time.

also: dont complain about how you dont have money if you have a job and dont have to pay bills. if you have a paying job but have no financial obligations or responsibilities, then you should have money. if you dont, then you have a spending problem.

also: if all you do is repeatedly screw up your own life, i dont want to hear you complain about it, especially if you are aware of the issue. if you are aware of it, you should fix it and stop making everyone listen to you drown in your sorrows. stop acting like a piece of crap and take care of it.

that is all.

home alone on the weekends

this describes my life:

the rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain...

there are somethings you learn to appreciate more when you can no longer have them. there are things that you learn to appreciate more when other things in your life are gone. this is what God likes to call teaching gratitude.

my closet has two doors that meet in the center that are on little spring-track sliders and hinge-like things in the corners (notice my use of technical terms). yesterday my left closet door mysteriously fell off the track when i opened it. after about 40 minutes of what i thought was fixing it and having it pop back off the track again every time i tried to make it function, i just kind of propped it up against the right door to make it appear as though it were closed. the problem with this is, every time i have to open the closet to get anything out, the door falls down again and i am stuck maneuvering it back in to it's propped up position. needless to say, i have never been more grateful for my right closet door. it still (for the time being) operates properly and serves as part of my temporary solution as it allows for me to perform my lovely propping routine in order to convince myself that my closet is indeed closed. in this moment in my life, i am in love with my right closet door, and terribly lost without my left.



anyway, it is a minimal example, but God works in mysterious ways sometimes. it is helping me to see the "big picture" with a bit more clarity.

i leave you with this thought:

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."- Buddha

worse than you will ever know

music=life
therefore,
here are the albums that i could not live without...

any given thursday, disc 2: john mayer
as/is, disc 2: john mayer
august and everything after: counting crows
australia: howie day
before these crowded streets: dave matthews band
the best that i could do- 1978-1988: john mellencamp
close: live at mcclains: tyrone wells
continuum: john mayer
cracked rear window: hootie and the blowfish
the devil and god are raging inside me: brand new
dizzy up the girl: goo goo dolls
elizabethtown os: various artists
everything in transit: jack's mannequin
evil empire: rage against the machine
footloose os: various artists
friction, baby: better than ezra
greatest hits, volume one: the beach boys
greatest hits: elton john
grind os: various artists
the guest: phantom planet
heavier things: john mayer
the hits: garth brooks
hold on: tyrone wells
hot fuss: the killers
inbetween dreams: jack johnson
inside wants out: john mayer
international superhits: green day
jars of clay: jars of clay
little by little: harvey danger
maybe you've been brainwashed too: the new radicals
nothing left to lose: mat kearney
o: damien rice
office space os: various artists
rearviewmirror: greatest hits disc 1 and 2: pearl jam
remember the titans os: various artists
room for squares: john mayer
sams town: the killers
sleepless in seattle os: various artists
tell all your friends: taking back sunday
who we are instead: jars of clay
your favorite weapon: brand new

i am sure i forgot some, but that is a good start.
that is all.

the extent of His grace never ceases to amaze me.

"Therefore, He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them."- Hebrews 7:25

expletive expletive expletive

the oxford dictionary of philosophy states:

"Aristotle writes that ‘the excellent person is related to his friend in the same way as he is related to himself, since a friend is another self; and therefore, just as his own being is choice-worthy for him, the friend's being is choice-worthy for him in the same or a similar way.’ Friendship therefore opens the door to an escape from egoism or belief that the rational course of action is always to pursue one's own self-interest..."


the devil's dictionary defines "friendship" as:

FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

note: devil= opposite of right and true, therefore, definition= opposite of right and true
note: it is still funny, and makes a good point


interesting words on friendship from famous-like people:

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A true friend stabs you in the front."
- Oscar Wilde

"A friend to all is a friend to none."
- Aristotle

soo...
the point is...



yeah, i dont have one.
well, i do. but...
let's just say that i would rather not elaborate at the current time. i think that, if i tried, i might explode all over my blog, leaving bits and pieces of my thoughts in the forms of sentence fragments, made-up words, and vowel-less expletives. needless to say, it is better that i leave the topic alone for the rest of the evening before letting my words go ahead of my thinking.

gooooodnight.

marc robert john enivert

last night i felt "called" to sponsor a child through Compassion International.
his name is Marc.
he is 4 years old.
he is from Haiti.

----------------
Listening to: Incubus - Dig
via FoxyTunes

i like to pretend like i have beliefs...

"The signs of a hypocrite are three: Whenever he speaks he tells a lie; whenever he is entrusted he proves dishonest; whenever he promises he breaks his promise."- Muhammad

you disgust me, you betraying piece of crap.